Guest Writer: my husband, Justin Bradbury

If we’re honest, a lot of us are living life on the defensive. Fearful, we attack and diminish others, if not out loud, then under our breath.

But, what if, rather than feeling a sense of permanence, we struggle with being disjointed? It’s a sense of separation from ourselves and others. Even from God. We can feel fragmented.  Disconnected.

I think so much of our division and disunity as men and women stems from a warped view.

Oftentimes while we wait for God’s vision to come about, others may come alongside us with encouraging messages. They are meant to be infused with hope and substance.

I’ve been offline. Intentionally quiet. Silently reflecting for several months.

Who doesn’t need to experience forgiveness? To feel freed from someone’s criticism and anger? From their guilt and accusation?

What or who offends you?

When we’re offended, our response is almost always negative. Cutting. Even abusive.

Many of us have a hard time expressing our emotions. We may flounder because we think they mostly torment us. I’ve experienced this many times. Or we just don’t know what to do with some of them, like passion or anger.

Guilt holds us hostage. When it grips me, I can sense it poisoning my thoughts, relationships, and actions, calling into question everything that has seemed true about me and others.  

Another emotion that often surfaces when our lives don’t seem to go the way we imagine is intimidation. It shrouds the truth. Hides what is real.

Would you say there is a bitter impact on your relationships when you decide to hide from others?

The thing is, how we relate to others can lead to something bitter relationally. Something that causes hurt. Fracture. Misunderstanding.

There’s a place in our lives we oftentimes hesitate. It’s in relationships. For those of us who are older, we’ve lived the majority of our lives. Because of this, many of us have accumulated relational hurt and pain we may sense in the pathways of our minds, through our memories. We may also sense it in our hearts. The thing is, over time they provoke relational hesitation within us, whether we are aware of it or not. We stall. We drag our feet. We flounder. Intimacy, attachment, and enjoyment elude us. Yes, even enjoyment. How many relationships are you currently in that you enjoy? Where you feel like you can be yourself?

So many of us question our existence. We wonder why we’re here. What our purpose is.

We often wander. From job to job. Relationship to relationship. Friendship to friendship. City to city. Church to church. We’re trying to figure things out. Make sense of who we are.

Forgiveness is a word we hear a lot these days, but the practice of it often puts us off.

Whether we are aware of it or not, our Western psyche revolves around this self-forged, self-proclaimed autonomy.

There’s a lot of anxiety and passion everywhere we turn. It’s not surprising that many of us want to move on. I think we’re all aware that our lives are not as tightly controlled by us as we previously believed. We’re living in the strained uncomfortableness of our times.