To believe God for something significant can feel foolish. Especially when we see no movement. Or the circumstances actually seem to be going in the opposite direction of the desire.

I’ve been offline. Intentionally quiet. Silently reflecting for several months.

Let’s be real, forgiveness is not easy.

Is it really possible to choose to forgive someone over offense?

Who doesn’t need to experience forgiveness? To feel freed from someone’s criticism and anger? From their guilt and accusation?

I think it’s important to keep the conversation about offense real. To continue to look into our own inner lives. And think about the ways we relate to those in our relationships who are offending us.

Offense is at the heart of our world events at the moment. It is screaming out in conversations about the Middle East. Yelling for a reaction. Crying out for people to take sides. Insisting on a reaction and revenge.

What or who offends you?

When we’re offended, our response is almost always negative. Cutting. Even abusive.

For months this question has been rolling around inside my head.

Is it the press and stress of finances?

Or a seemingly lost relationship?

Is it the feeling of unhappiness at work?

Or the sense of fading dreams?

Is it a child going his/her own way?

Or aging parents?

What immediately comes to mind?

Panic, like fear, grips us with such a fierce stranglehold that it often alters the way we think, act, and feel.

Many of us have a hard time expressing our emotions. We may flounder because we think they mostly torment us. I’ve experienced this many times. Or we just don’t know what to do with some of them, like passion or anger.

When fear seizes us we have a hard time thinking clearly. Seeing straight. Making wise decisions.

Guilt holds us hostage. When it grips me, I can sense it poisoning my thoughts, relationships, and actions, calling into question everything that has seemed true about me and others.  

Another emotion that often surfaces when our lives don’t seem to go the way we imagine is intimidation. It shrouds the truth. Hides what is real.

Think about how frustration appears in your life.

Do you feel jealous?

Like you’ve been robbed of certain experiences?

Cynical about your future?

Ungrateful for the little things around you?

We live in a wider culture that seems caught up in a blowing wind of changing identity. It used to be we altered our personality based on the people around us. Now, we question our very essence.

Why am I here?

Does my sex make a difference?

How does it contribute to who I am?

How can I know?

At the heart of shame and hiding is the bitter effect of fear.

And fear is poisonous, isn’t it?

How many times a day do you say something negative or condemning to yourself about your looks, your weight, your complexion, or your physique? What’s your reaction? How do the messages make you feel?

Would you say there is a bitter impact on your relationships when you decide to hide from others?

The thing is, how we relate to others can lead to something bitter relationally. Something that causes hurt. Fracture. Misunderstanding.

Often, when we look at the story of Adam and Eve, we focus mainly on their downfall. What theologians call “The Fall.” Rarely, however, do we pay much attention to the relational implications of their decision. Think about it this way. What exactly changed in their relationship with each other, themselves individually, and their relationship with God when they decided to go their own way?

Since God never hesitates or hides from us relationally, but instead, always pursues us and continually speaks to us, what does He say? Think about it personally, what’s been your experience of listening to His voice of love this past week?